To build a home.

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“It doesn’t take much to build a home. A bed, a dresser, a room, a place to stay. But it takes a lot to feel at home. To feel like you belong. Like your place in the world is here and your moment is now and if you had to choose you would do it all over again. But I’ve gotten here and this is my place, this is where I belong, this is the place where I am at home (…..) ” (From my diary, 3 years before)

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Life Soundtrack- August 2015 :_)

‘Without music, life would be a mistake.’

(Friedrich Nietzsche)

So here’s my soundtrack for August 2015:

  1. Arrival of the birds, by The Cinematic Orchestra.   https://play.spotify.com/track/1xRCmlU2GyzGem2vw4glxK
  2. Live and learn, by The Cardigans.   https://play.spotify.com/track/31qeVdUywcIYK91JBWj3VM
  3. Flowers in your hair, by The Lumineers      https://play.spotify.com/track/4BDpHt1JrVQzaU7E6RBbXh
  4. Electrotumbao, by The Pinker Tones https://play.spotify.com/track/3vepNrCcf6qaZ5urMlkX8w
  5. Come to me, by Koop                   https://play.spotify.com/track/5T8Czk2nF3VExTwXccFyor
  6. My eyes, by Travis                https://play.spotify.com/track/1NL7mnQwCoHsKvD4kNOdbn
  7. I will follow you into the dark, by Deatch Cab for Cutie                    https://play.spotify.com/track/4CIeCQkvJEFv85UaOfzETw
  8. Trouble is a friend, by Lenka https://play.spotify.com/track/7hpxYEXTBQOAcXBJLgQIV2
  9. Riptide by Vance Joy https://play.spotify.com/track/7yq4Qj7cqayVTp3FF9CWbm
  10. Soldier by Gavin DeGraw https://play.spotify.com/track/0MhCb3iakymVqQIOeYPSUf
  11. Raining again by Moby https://play.spotify.com/track/2pnwaILz5rHiVMVwRaxslI
  12. Wake me up (cover)  by Madelyn Bailey https://play.spotify.com/track/5d3kBmxHuMkHLmgXuCK30M
  13. How deep is your love? by The Rapture https://play.spotify.com/track/3cwJIYvXvmRVTjUa7oQMaf
  14. Love like semtex by Infadels https://play.spotify.com/track/1gL3XtRuXyjfzYmh2NoTmV
  15. Into the fire by Thirteen Senses https://play.spotify.com/track/0wXYhZtSSoX2jbAfIP2N2j
  16. Female of the species by Space
  17. I will wait by Mumford and Sons https://play.spotify.com/track/3kyxRga5wDGbKdmxXssbps
  18. Flashed junk mind by Milky Chance https://play.spotify.com/track/3tSlwyWqWCj6FWbqtFSi3T
  19. Mr Brightside by The Killers https://play.spotify.com/track/0eGsygTp906u18L0Oimnem
  20. Help I’m alive by Metric https://play.spotify.com/track/6qr9kFtVtM5agnT4pLTyVy
  21. The Passenger by Iggy Pop https://play.spotify.com/track/3yP0cohcr97BUNJcgvmSVg
  22. A town called malice by The Jam https://play.spotify.com/track/1KP1j8sCQADCc8eXrtAUP6
  23. We might be dead by tomorrow by Soko https://play.spotify.com/track/49A10weBfgwg4TUM3My7iv
  24. Photograph by Air https://play.spotify.com/track/7tlbwSz9NlpbVg3nElU9s1
  25. Theme by Jon Brion https://play.spotify.com/track/56cKYgizZz5qmyPYGbt2oF
  26. Walking on sunshine by Katrina and the Waves https://play.spotify.com/track/3Wq1XLo82SODnXJpYHvnyD
  27. When I grow up by Garbage https://play.spotify.com/track/3L1Pk0jqV4nyuLdmk3oILH
  28. Walking on the sun by Smash Mouth https://play.spotify.com/track/6DesZz4jaos1vuHCf0By7N
  29. Baila morena (spanish version) by Zucchero https://play.spotify.com/track/1WOP5gue3b7vOZzypdekxt
  30. Bitter sweet symphony by The Verve https://play.spotify.com/track/5yEPxDjbbzUzyauGtnmVEC

Happy sunday to all of you! : )

Forrest Gump or “I just felt like running.”

Forrest Gump was one of my childhood biggies: not only he had a wonder woman mum who would do everything she could for him but he also possessed sheer humanity and willpower. He never stopped trying to achieve the things he wanted. He wasn’t scared of loving people and giving himself out to them. He never abandoned his dreams. He was committed, constant and hard-working.

But the thing that really got me was that no possible offence was too big on Forrest Gump and as a gun-shy, bookish, not-much-interest-in the-outer world/silent type of child who often took beatings and insults from her peers I found that commendable.

At a certain point in the movie and after a loss Forrest Gump starts running to defeat hardship. When Jenny ups sticks and leaves him high and dry he just goes out and… runs. When confronted with the question “Why are you running?” (…) he just says “Oh well, I just felt like running.”

The reason why I am saying all of this is because sometimes I just feel like running too. As of lately I’ve found dealing with my emotions rather hard. Never big at sharing or at explaining why I do things I have struggled with coming to terms with loss and grieving. Running has helped me deal with that. Whenever I’ve felt way too off I’ve just put my trainers off and gone on the street. It ain’t no Philosopher’s stone but it certainly helps. I always come stronger at the end.

And that’s why I run, to face hardship, to scape from the world, to have time to myself, to gather courage… to stay strong and carry on.

Hope you all had a successful week and enjoy the weekend we are now starting! It is Bank Holiday here so I get three whole days to myself! Beyond excited. Happy weekend everyone!

Randomly happy.

“And these (….) These are the best times. The times when you shine so much you could die. When you are so happy you could explode. When nothing else matters. These are the times (…..) The times in your life.” image

On top of the world.

Or how I feel when I run.

I wrote this a few weeks ago and it still applies… Running is the one thing that keeps me both happy and sane and I don’t know what I’d do without my outlet.

“Running has taught me something. You MAY struggle. You MAY think about giving up. You MAY fight and you MAY hate yourself but you WON’T give up. Keep the finish line in sight and finish your race. The end of the path is more than you’d ever bargain for. ”

So that’s what I do. I don’t give up. I don’t give in. The things I want, I’ll get them all. The things I wish… I’ll have it all.

Happy day to all of you! I had a wonderful 5 mile crossing Vauxhall Bridge this morning. (Pictured) Now on to tackle the day!

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Don’t feed the monster.

Don’t feed the monster. Stop hating yourself and practising body shaming. Push aside the unpleasant remarks people make sometimes.

Go on, stop feeding the monster. Get through the bad days and stand for who YOU are and not who people want you to be.

Don’t listen to the monster. Show yourself some love and respect. Embrace your flaws instead of pointing them out.

Don’t help the monster. Stop bringing yourself down and filling your head with negative thoughts. Stop believing those who say you can’t do big things.

Whatever you do just don’t trust the monster. I know you don’t quite believe it but one day you will get through this. The things you want, you’ll get them. You’ll get them if you keep fighting. If you focus on taking your life one day at a time. Tackling things one by one. Somehow you are a lot stronger than you’d ever think. You are a lot wiser than you’d ever know. So chin up my little lion. This too shall pass. You’ll smile again.

Happy sunday to all of you!

Nothing will be impossible for you.

Gratitude (noun)

 1. the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful.

A simple word and a way of living. I am grateful. Immensely, I truly am. But sometimes, just sometimes,I forget all about it and just let the bad feelings grow.

We’ve all been there: you are having a not so good day and everything seems to be going astray. And you think to yourself… what have I bloody done to deserve this? Wrong, wrong, wrong. You’re not a victim for one and it wouldn’t be in your way if you couldn’t overcome it for two.

Lately I’ve caught myself  wondering. When will I make it out of the storm? Will my life always be like this?

Well, the answer lies in gratitude. The answer lies in choosing. And I choose to be grateful. Grateful for the things my storm is teaching me. For friends who take turns at holding my hand when it gets hard. Blessed by the small things: smiles, books, hugs, postcards. Happy when I get to wake up every morning.Thankful because in the end life always goes on. And relieved because even when it hurts I can still smile.

I choose to be these and many more because this is just a stop on my journey. So I close my eyes and say.. this… well.. this too… this too shall pass.

Happy saturday to all of you!!!

Fri(yay) or ten songs that make me run like crazy.

1. Rocky- Gonna fly now. A classic. Feel empowered, feel pumped, kick ass!
2. Queen- Don’t stop me now. Another classic. One of my traffic light favourites. (And yes, I do sing out loud.)
3. Azaelia Banks- 212. Makes me somewhat happy.
4. The Strokes- Reptilia or a tour through my teenage years when I was full of angst and rebellion. For tough days.
5. Shania Twain- Man! I feel like a woman. A 90’s classic and one of the songs I learnt English with as a child. Brings me up even in the lowest moments.
6. Depeche Mode- Personal Jesus. I. Am. Fucking. Powerful. That’s all.
7. Moby- Go. Probably my favourite running song, encourages me to the infinite and beyond.
8. The Killers- Mrs Brightside or my favourite song of all time. Always welcome, never fails to make me smile. Open up my eeeeeager eyes, because I’m Mrs Brightsideeeee (…..) (Yes, that’s me singing. Badly.)
9. Blondie- Call me. Never fails to amuse.
10. Christina Aguilera- Dirty. Absolutely tacky never fails to bring my tempo up.

Happy fri(yay) to all of you and looking forward hearing about your favourite running songs!

You could be happy.

You could be happy,

if only you tried.

If only you went ahead and forgot everything,

focused on the positives and smiled on.

You’d become just that, happy.

If only you looked around and took in the things you have

and saw the people surrounding you.

It wouldn’t be that difficult,

if only you were a bit more grateful

and tried to be kinder everyday and do new things,

and explore the world.

You’d be violently happy.

If only you started practicing self love,

and stopped practicing self harm, self deprecating and putting yourself down.

You’d look at yourself (…)

and you’d be smiling

and then (…)

You’d realise that (….)

You could be happy if only you let go of everything that hurts,

If only you realised that you are strong, beautiful and brave.

That “hard” doesn’t mean “it’s the end”

and “stay still” doesn’t mean “it’s over”

You could be happy,

I hope you are.

And this in the background…  [You could be happy- Snow Patrol] https://play.spotify.com/track/71Jl2nL3f8h6a4uRjfhq89

Five kinds of runners you will encounter in London.

  1. The chatterbox: Always with a companion talks non-stop and looks totally unaffected by the running. Keeps a steady pace. Companion usually remains silent, and you never know if they’re taking it all in or just trying to bloody breathe and keep up.
  2. The flawless: Usually a guy running in neutral shoes. Long strides and looks as though he’s been born to run. Takes a lot of space too. Pretty to watch although mostly unnefective.
  3. Running barbie: the latest shoes and the latest shorts and the latest hairdo and oh-my-god I’m so pretty and so healthy too.. Running barbies look pretty. In fact, you wouldn’t think they’ve ran a single mile. (And they probably haven’t done, they’re there for posing.)
  4. Red-faced girl: red-faced girl looks like she’s having the worst time of her life. She is blotchy. She looks mad. She is struggling. Yet every now and then you hear her mutter words. She’s singing. (Hello everyone, my name is red faced girl…)
  5. The all marathoner: He doesn’t give a fuck. He will overtake you, ignore the tourists and just keep running. He looks as though he’s seen it all and is totally not impressed. He always wears old races tshirts and a battered looking pair of trainers.

Which one is you? Happy day to all of you!