Life is a series of circles. Sometimes we draw ourselves inside. Sometimes we put ourselves outside. Sometimes we stay in the middle. Sometimes we just don’t know what to do. Where to go. How to react.
I’ve been circling around a lot lately. Somehow I’ve had to make a considerable amount of quick/life altering decisions. Because that’s how it is… Fate exists but we get to decide too.
For so long I thought that I had my whole existence mapped out as if it were a race. I thought I would just go and reach each and every single one of my milestones and that would make me happy.
Instead, I’ve had to learn how to keep dancing when I no longer want to, how to run when I don’t feel like it, how to stay still when everything I want to do is move, how to stay on my feet when everything I want to do is curl in bed and cry, how to stand up for myself and beat a bully.
I’ve learned that coming second doesn’t make me a loser and that it just means I could have done better. And that sometimes the things we let go of never really belonged with us in the first place.
So I choose to let go and I choose to close a circle. To write myself dead at the end of the chapter and come back to life in the next one. I choose life. Happy. Breathless. I choose choosing. And most of all I choose to remind myself that stumbling doesn’t make me unable to dance. That stumbling is nothing but another learning opportunity.
So, I stumble. And, yet, I manage to dance.