It rained all day today. I was moody like the weather and I felt somewhat sad right from the start. Good mourning.
My flatmate broke my bed by accident while we were trying to fix some stuff. Bless her, she didn’t mean to. I am not mad. It just happened. The same way I didn’t mean to fuck up my knees yet I did. And the same way my room is a mess, my life is in tatters, my head is not a pleasant place and my world is kind of crumbling down. I’m falling apart.
It’s time to say goodbye to running me. Goodbye, for now. Goodbye, for time being. Goodbye, for months. And well… what’s left to do.. I will just go ahead and say goodbye. And I will say thank you. Thank you very ever so much. It was amazing, really. I am sorry it didn’t work out, knees. I am sorry I caused you so much pain. And I am sorry, ankles, I am sorry for you too. I didn’t mean it. Believe me.
And here comes the catch (….) I think I don’t quite mind. In spite of everything I just can’t mind. If I look at the mirror,I am smiling. If I step back and look at the state of things I just think.. It could be bloody worse! I don’t know if I am shocked, tired, or just used to it but I think I *really* don’t mind. I think that somehow I will always find a way through. As I have always done. As I will always do. And I will grow to love my mattress on the floor since I’ve always been fond of playing campsite. And I won’t mind discovering new things I enjoy doing. And I will want to cry but I will laugh too because I am not truly madly deeply sad. I am just disappointed. This wasn’t for me and that’s the end of it. For now.
As my grandma used to say, if something is not for your that’s not your world over. It just means you will get to do other things. It just means the plans for you are different. Get over it, go to bed, sleep on it and wake up on a new mindset. A bad day today is a better day to come.
You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold on to… https://play.spotify.com/track/6NSJOIyKYcRZh28Kf0URTw