Some days you just can’t. Doesn’t matter how hard you try you just can’t get sadness to stop creeping on you.
Whenever you turn around, wherever you look she is always there, her and those big blue teary eyes staring intently at you.
You try to shake it off, dance it off, shout it off. Remain unaffected. Whatever, it just won’t work. Because the trick to controlling sadness is embracing it. Giving it a chance to exist. In order to heal we have to allow ourselves to grief. Accept sadness, let her in and let her show us that we miss the things we once had and are gone now.
It is not bad to reminisce. To remember old times. To hope for something we no longer have. As anytime in life the bad thing is to dwell on it, to lose ourselves in it and stay sad forever, to deny ourselves the pleasure of moving on with life and doing something else, meeting someone else, living other things.
So allow yourself to browse through all of those old pictures. To spend an afternoon laughing at “how young we were” ,”how much we had” , “how fun this was” and “the embarrassing stories we shared” because the person may be gone but those are not gone. People exist as long as we care for reminding them. And they may make you eventually sad but those are part of your story, of who you are in the end.
So today I choose to remember. I choose to remember those I loved and no longer get to share my days with me. I choose to remember the things I’ve lost. I choose to remember the lives I’ve lived and to know that whatever happens those are some of my happy memories. Because I was there to live them, because I was with them.
I choose to remember but not to stay in the past. I choose to remember love and life. I choose to remember but not to die a bit everyday.
So go, go away, get out of me… https://play.spotify.com/track/5Hd6DPGjqihEnWSiGRzqr6