I ran through the bridges today. I ran because I was angry. I ran because I was tired. I ran because I didn’t know what to do. I ran because I wanted to know.
A year ago this time I was terrified of most of the world outside. I had been stuck in a routine where I had quit several things just because I couldn’t hack them, just because I thought I couldn’t do it anymore.
It is hard to try and not succeed. It happens a lot. You will wake up one day and you won’t be successful. And you won’t be successful the next one either, and probably… not the one after that… either. What I am trying to say is that it takes time. You may fuck something up one day. And the next one won’t be any better. And you will feel like you have tried so hard and so much it is just ungrateful. Because that’s what will happen: it will become ungrateful.
But, then, you will just get out and run through your bridges. Do your grieving, move on and keep trying. Because maybe, this will work one day. Because, maybe, I can hack this.
Today wasn’t a good day. But tomorrow may be. Or may not. But I still want to see (……)